BUG: ExcelWriter engine_kwargs not passed through to other engines than xlsxwriter #42292 #42214 #43440

[feefladder]

• I have checked that this issue has not already been reported.

• I have confirmed this bug exists on the latest version of pandas.

• I have confirmed this bug exists on the master branch of pandas.

Reproducible Example

import pandas as pd
from datetime import datetime
with pd.ExcelWriter("file.xlsx",engine="openpyxl",engine_kwarg={"iso_dates":True}) as writer:
    pd.DataFrame([datetime(1996,20,10)]).to_excel(writer)

Issue Description

the arguments are silently not passed through to the openpyxl Workbook class.

Expected Behavior

This should either raise or pass through to the engine

Installed Versions

/home/kees/miniconda3/envs/pd-doc/lib/python3.8/site-packages/fastparquet/dataframe.py:5: FutureWarning: pandas.Int64Index is deprecated and will be removed from pandas in a future version. Use pandas.NumericIndex with the appropriate dtype instead.
from pandas import (

INSTALLED VERSIONS

commit : 73c473d
python : 3.8.10.final.0
python-bits : 64
OS : Linux
OS-release : 5.8.0-59-generic
Version : #66~20.04.1-Ubuntu SMP Thu Jun 17 11:14:10 UTC 2021
machine : x86_64
processor : x86_64
byteorder : little
LC_ALL : None
LANG : en_US.UTF-8
LOCALE : en_US.UTF-8

pandas : 1.4.0.dev0+613.g73c473dce9.dirty
numpy : 1.21.2
pytz : 2021.1
dateutil : 2.8.2
pip : 21.2.4
setuptools : 57.4.0
Cython : 0.29.24
pytest : 6.2.5
hypothesis : 6.18.0
sphinx : 4.1.2
blosc : None
feather : None
xlsxwriter : 3.0.1
lxml.etree : 4.6.3
html5lib : 1.1
pymysql : None
psycopg2 : None
jinja2 : 3.0.1
IPython : 7.27.0
pandas_datareader: None
bs4 : 4.9.3
bottleneck : 1.3.2
fsspec : 2021.05.0
fastparquet : 0.7.1
gcsfs : 2021.05.0
matplotlib : 3.4.3
numexpr : 2.7.3
odfpy : None
openpyxl : 3.0.7
pandas_gbq : None
pyarrow : 5.0.0
pyxlsb : None
s3fs : 2021.05.0
scipy : 1.7.1
sqlalchemy : 1.4.23
tables : 3.6.1
tabulate : 0.8.9
xarray : 0.18.2
xlrd : 2.0.1
xlwt : 1.3.0
numba : 0.53.1

[feefladder]

this is the same for other engines. Also this cannot work properly in 'append' mode, because there the load_workbook is used:
https://github.com/pandas-dev/pandas/blob/73c473dce9f07bba96993c42843320e116cf94ea/pandas/io/excel/_openpyxl.py#L60-74